Mom's move canceled by a Grinch

Mom's move canceled by a Grinch
Originally uploaded by Saintbridge

Here's the deal.

Mom's application to an assisted living facility in Roanoke was approved late Friday. I picked up the keys to her room and was given the go-ahead to move her things into the room on Sunday.

This followed days and days of endlessly explaining to her why she has to move and that we are still close by and will be frequent visitors. Her memory is failing and her short-term memory is practically nonexistent, so this was a very hard hill for her and us to climb.

My brother, older sister and I took her over there Monday to visit and get a look around at the room with her things placed in it. Nursing needed another day to get prepared for her so we planned to officially move in on Tuesday.

Well, while we were there I got a call from the admissions director who said she needed to talk to me. I left the family and went to visit with her and she told me that the president of the state organization had that morning rejected our application.

Yep. We had the keys, had signed all the necessary papers and had moved the furniture in and apparently the "OK" that we had gotten from a top administrator in Richmond was not all we needed.

I am leaving out details, but the upshot is that despite there being no written or advertised policy of a minimum amount of assets necessary, there is a certain "magic level" that needs to be verified before one is granted residency.

I spoke to this guy today and despite the fact that there was no indication anywhere that any particular amount of assets was necessary, despite being given the verbal OK from one of his direct underlings on Friday, despite being given the keys and moving furniture in, and despite finally -- maybe -- making mom understand that this was going to be her new home, this guy has the cojones to tell me that his word is final and that none of the other stuff matters.

There will be no way we can ease her confusion. I told her tonight that we have to delay the move, but she is totally lost about where her home is and where all us kids are going to be and how far away we will be from her. And that is what I cannot forgive this guy for allowing to happen.

I am ashamed at how incoherent this post is, but I am just mentally exhausted by having to deal with this b.s from this guy, trying to turn mom's understanding of this whole process around, realizing that I am going to have to look after her probably another month -- and come ever closer to my cutoff of the buyout funds.

ugh!